Monday, June 20, 2016

R.O.L.E of Letting go and Letting be...

When you take the time to sit back to actually sniff and smell the roses what do you find? 

Do you find that the butterfly wings are pushing you away as fast as you approach? 

Do you find that the fear of the bees sting keeping you at bay? 

Well, what is the R.O.L.E. you have in letting go and letting be?

Today I sit here in a park in New Haven Connecticut watching as my older child walks my younger child to school. Like any parent I worry that something can happen between where I sit to where the school is , but I have to let it go and let it be. If I were to continue to watch my kids as closely as I would a newborn then they will never learn how to mature how to be independent.

Now as I sit here on the park bench I watch as my older child approaches me after dropping his sister at school. There's a difference in his walk, different gate, a different swing in his arms. His chest is that his head is up. He has a smile literally from ear-to-ear. He has a skip in his step!  He even stops to greet a dog being walked by its owner, waves and a scratch on the dogs head, and he continues back my way. Now that he sees me he begins to run. Looking excited as to what I have to say. However this would not happen hadn't i Let It Go and Let It Be.

There's a time when we have to step back and let the teaching take its course. Where we have to trust that our children know right from wrong. How to be polite. How to be safe. No I'm not saying to fully pulled back but I'm saying that we should pull back just a bit more. Take the time to step back and watch from afar just out of eyesight and see what happens. You can still yell loud enough for them to hear you if something does go wrong but there is often a way in learning by letting it go wrong. For all those who are over 20 let me ask you this do you remember the first time you did the monkey bars without help. Was it because mom or dad let you do it was because you did it to see if you could do it. Was it at the playground with your friends and one of your other friends was doing it so you just jump back in and once you finished you had a moment to yourself but continue with the play. These instances are fading faster than you can imagine. When we as parents take on the role of safety net and our child everyday life and not allow the child to live that life. Let the child fall because if they don't know how to fall they won't know how to get up just remember what your role is and letting it go and letting it be. It's not the role of going and being for that child but allowing the child to go and be.

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